We hear a lot about loving ourselves. But to be honest I'm still figuring out exactly what that means, and how to do that. It's easy for me to love you, my readers, to see your beauty. But when it comes to me, I'm still working on ironing out the wrinkles of my own self love journey. I figured I'm probably not the only one, so I've looked for a little help from Motivational Speaker and Success Coach, Lisa Cybaniak, to share her insights with you.
Read Lisa's blog post where she gives us 4 Actionable steps to change our thoughts, our life, and learn self love....
The Meaning of Life - What is the meaning of life? by Lisa Cybaniak
This is the age old question. Perhaps everyone’s meaning is different. Perhaps we all have our own meaning to seek. Or perhaps, just maybe, at the root of everyone’s quest is really how to love themselves.
On the surface, learning how to love yourself seems simple. You just do it, don’t you? Tell me then, when things go wrong in your day, what is your first response? Is it to blame yourself, tell yourself you knew you couldn’t do it anyway, throw in the towel and pretend like it didn’t matter anyway?
Or maybe it is to ask ‘why me?’ and feel like despite your best efforts, nothing ever turns out the way you planned? Or worse yet, maybe you sabotage yourself in little ways without even realizing it – not completing a task, not putting in full effort, not showing up, not studying for that test/exam – just so that when you fail, it’s not a surprise, because wouldn’t it be so much worse to complete that task with your full effort and attention, putting forth your best foot, only to not succeed?
After all, success is everything, right? Wait a second though…. What is success? Does that mean things have to go perfectly the first time, or can you still be successful if you faced struggles head on, made mistakes and learned from them, to go on to find success and happiness?
I’m asking a whole lot of questions here, but they are not pointless. Success is directly linked to our value of ourselves. If you related to any of the above, then maybe you don’t value yourself as much as you initially thought. Maybe there is room for you to learn how to change your thoughts, love yourself, and then go after the life you deserve, mistakes and all.
Struggling with self love
Now, so many people have lived through major traumas that have affected their lives, which may be the main reason for struggling to find self love. I am not the exception to this. I have survived 10 years of physical, mental, and sexual abuse from the age of 2-12.
I spent the next decade fighting the biggest battle of my life, learning to accept myself and work my way from victim to survivor. I then spent the next decade practising what I preached, so to speak, and now feel it is time for me to take all my experiences (yep, even the really awful ones, including my mistakes), and help others. For more information on my journey, see my blog Victim to Survivor here.
Change of Perception
This blog will focus on the first step to recovery, whatever you may be recovering from – abuse, trauma, bullying, poor esteem, negativity – to learn how to love yourself, become the person you want to be, and live the life you deserve.The only one in control of your life is you. Live your life with purpose – you are the only one who can. As Aristotle once said, ‘Happiness depends upon ourselves’.
I once struggled greatly with finding my own happiness. I spent so much of my time focusing on how others were making my life difficult, expecting others to also make it better. I would literally wonder, ‘where the hell is my knight in shining armour??????’ One day, I looked in the mirror and smiled when I finally realized she was there all along!
Now my motto is, ‘She needed a hero, so that’s what she became’. By learning how to love yourself, you will change your thought patterns, and you will become your own hero. You will instinctively make better decisions every day, including how you think about yourself. Let’s start this journey together!
By learning how to love yourself, you will become your own hero.
Learning how to change your thoughts to change your life in 4 steps:
An Experiment for Change!
Would it be worth it to try a little experiment? (I am a scientist after all!) Spend the next month with absolute purpose. Apply all the things you have learned about yourself so far, and all the hard work you have done. Acknowledge and appreciate all your positives, recognize what you are getting from your actions and reactions, determine what you want to gain and how to gain it with your next actions and reactions, and determine your worth and ALL the things you deserve.Last but not least, look for all the opportunities in each day. You will turn your positive thoughts into reality by taking advantage of the opportunities before you!
By Lisa Cybaniak
I'd love to hear about your actions and reactions over the next month. I'll be sharing mine in a future post!
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