Let me tell you about that memorable weekend!  The one when I met like minded people who made me laugh, reflect and even cry tears of understanding, connection and compassion.  Where I heard the most beautiful voice of a world-renowned singer and teacher.  When I learned tips in self confidence from a model who walked the runways of Paris.  Where I enjoyed a gala full of dancing, great food and even greater company.  Where I had the chance to share and listen to personal stories.  When I had a personal professional photo shoot.  And where I formed collaborations with other businesses created by women and for women.​

Just where does a girl living in a small town in Ontario, Canada get to do all these amazing things in one weekend? 
Well, she gets on a plane, flies to LA and goes to Fiercecon of course!

​Fiercecon is explained as ‘not a conference, but a connection”, and it couldn’t be more true!  Coordinated by Catherine Grace O'Connel and her team, it is a connection of women in midlife and beyond, where no "mean vibes" are allowed.  A safe space where a sisterhood can be created.  A sisterhood that boosts confidence, forms friendships, explores ideas, creates collaborations and encourages success.  Here are a few beautiful ways that a sisterhood can accomplish these things.
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Before I get into the 5 steps, I want to introduce you to an amazing woman that is rocking her journey to self esteem.  Sarah Nicole Landry is a mom of 4 who has struggled most of her life with loving her self, mostly because of the messages she received and internalized from our looks obsessed society. ​

Who of us hasn’t looked at the way women are featured in the media and felt “less-than”?    I know I have.  My forehead was too high, my nose not thin enough, lips too thin, skin not smooth enough, boobs too small, and on and on went my fight with my looks.  So too, Sarah Nicole struggled with her ideal vision of how she should look.  Even after losing 100 lbs, she still struggled with self esteem.  This is when she realized that allowing societal views to shape her own self confidence was a losing battle.  Today she advocates for loving yourself right where you are in your journey.  She champions being grateful to our unique bodies for their amazing accomplishments; moving, loving, growing babies, breathing and carrying us through all of this life’s ups and downs.  For weekly inspiration, you can follow this beautiful woman's "journal of life & love after massive change" on Instagram @thebirdspapaya , and her blog and podcast!!

With world mental health day approaching on October 10, it’s a good time to get positive.  A great way to do this is to remove the stigma that still surrounds mental health issues.  I’ve heard it expressed in this really concise and powerful way.  Mental health is like physical health, we all have it.  We all need to look after it.  

Just as there is no shame in breaking an ankle, needing glasses, or taking heart medicine, so too for our mental health.  There is no shame in needing help to think, feel and react in ways that we want.  

I respect when someone with celebrity status uses their voice to help others. 

Enter Lady Gaga.  

​Having endured less than ideal mental health at various times in her life, she began the foundation “Born This Way” to support the wellness of young people while being fiercely kind, compassionate, accepting and inclusive.  She is unafraid to say that she herself has struggled, and she wants to help others so that they do not need to suffer alone and in silence.  Part of the mission statement at the Born This Way foundation reads, “We celebrate the individuality of those we serve, and we revere the bravery it takes to reach out and start the conversation.  Together, we’re building a community that provides approachable resources, fosters genuine connection, and drives action.”

Three very powerful ideas leap off the page when I read this statement. “Celebrate the individuality”, “Start the conversation”, and “Genuine connection”.
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These ideas are all very actionable.  Herein lies the extremely easy way that we can all celebrate World Mental Health Day this October.  And it’s free. 

In the summer of 2014, my children and I went through a particularly challenging season.  During that time, we received  food, friendship, counseling and care from our community.  Since then, it has been in my heart to give back to others even in small ways, as I am able.  When the local YWCA approached me asking if I could donate a piece of my art for their upcoming “She Talks” event, I agreed and was especially excited to have a small share in an evening where women from different walks of life, would come together to share and listen to stories of tenacity and grit.  Stories that connect, uplift and draw us closer together.
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I present to you the 7 inspiring women who spoke that evening and a bit of their stories that will touch your heart.

I’m going to tell you something that I don’t share with people too often.  For context reasons you should know that I kind of lack confidence, although I’d say in the last 5 or so years, I’ve definitely gained more than I used to have.  Due to this lack of confidence and the fact that I’m not the type of person to tell the world my problems, when I do share parts of my story here on social media, it’s because I feel that by putting it out there, someone else might be helped.  So, here’s the thing I want to share. 
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I’ve contemplated suicide a few times in my life. 

Maybe we should call it “through her  eyes”    …    in her hands,"
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- what do you think?' asked Hannah Linn, Executive Director at the Bracebridge YWCA, (see more about her HERE)  as we brainstormed ideas for our all women art show that we had co-conspired to plan just in time for International Women’s Day this past March.  

I thought it was a brilliant name, and so was born an art show, with over 20 Canadian female artists from Ontario, Canada contributing pieces to the event.
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As an artist myself, and always looking for inspiration, I wondered what inspired these other women and how they came up with their unique ways of painting.  Lucky for me I was able to get to know some amazing women during the show and ask some questions guaranteed to inspire you in your creative process.

“I don’t know how she does it, she is so strong”. 

Have you ever heard that said?  I’ve not only heard it, but I myself have said it about others.

It’s always spoken with a sort of awe that these women are still able to stand, to carry on, to breathe, to have such inner strength.  They’ve faced dreadful circumstances, ones that we can’t imagine having to endure ourselves - and if we did, we’re fearful that we would probably die.  Maybe they’ve survived some sort of abuse, been diagnosed with an illness, lost of a dear friend or family member, or survived some other sort of tragedy.  Yet these are often the women who go on to help others.  They become the coaches, the motivational speakers, and the leaders we look up to.
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How do they do it?

As I sit on my deck on this beautiful July morning, I am reminded of how much nature helps me to reconnect with my inner voice and brings such peace to my soul.  The stillness of towering trees, the constancy of the flowing river, birds singing their morning songs, and the sun creating ever-changing blue, purple and golden hues as it rises in the sky.
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Before my young boys wake up and the stillness of the morning is broken, I think about my own childhood.  I try to reconnect with who I was.  I think about the dark times in my life and how they shaped me...

I began painting this series of paintings as part of my growth journey.  I'd already explored more difficult emotions and painted about my journey through them.  But now I was ready to go from coping with and navigating difficult emotions to exploring ways I could develop inner strength, and hold onto hope when the next of life's challenges decided to come my way.  I also knew that many others were on similar journeys, and I wanted to begin conversations, share our insights, and inspire others to understand the foundations  of becoming, and staying a strong woman - or human really.  While there are many emotions that help build our character, I believe that the four I chose to paint for this series “Elements”, create a foundation, and that the others will come after these four are firmly rooted.  
I've also come to realize that it is how we respond to challenges, that shapes who we become.  We can either become bitter, forever angry, and crumple under the weight of adversity, or we can choose to learn.  Each lesson adding new layers to our character.  This is where the 4 qualities of a great leader come in.  Experience is the best teacher, and for any that have gone through adversity and thrived, they are in a unique position to help others do the same.

As Canadian Mental Health Awareness Week and Mental Health Month approach, we may ask ourselves some deep questions.  Maybe we ask,  'at what age did we forget how to just being happy?'.  Barring an abusive childhood, when we were children we simply did things because they made us happy. 
Play all day without once wondering what we might look like in a mirror?  ALL day! 
Scarf down our favorite treats without once worrying about calories?  Absolutely! 
Dance like no one was watching? Yep! (At around 5 years of age, I once twirled around the room after my mother’s dance class was over.  Everyone cleared the floor just for my solo lol.  Sadly, I would never dream of that now!)
Smile like goofballs for a picture? Count me in! 

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​Then something shifts...

​I paint as a way to express emotions, as a sort of therapy,  a way to tell stories, mine or those of others.  This new series entitled "Elements" is no different.  Each painting is a reminder and inspiration to remember the foundations of becoming and staying a strong woman - or human really.  While there are many traits that can build our character, and strengthen our mental health, I believe that the four I chose to paint for this series “Elements”, are foundational, and that the others will come after these four are firmly rooted. Continue reading to see how I believe that hope, strength, bliss and self-love can lead to superior mental and emotional well being.*

When we send out a seed, we never know how it will grow.  When I approached Hannah Lin, Executive Director of the YWCA Muskoka regarding an art show celebrating women in the arts, neither of us could have envisioned the response both from the artists and those who would join us in the celebrations.

It all started when I realized I had been making life choices that proved that I didn't have a healthy amount of self-love.  I used to think that by doing and becoming the best wife, mother, daughter, housekeeper, worker, etc that I could be, I would be worthy of love.  When I didn't get the reactions I had hoped for, I would spiral into self loathing, and try even harder.

​...RECIPE FOR DISASTER.

When women come together to build each other up, there's a magic that happens.  We start to realize we are not alone in our dreams, our goals or even our fears.  And then we begin to believe in ourselves a little more.  We add a few layers of confidence.  We start making plans to build our dreams, we take actual steps to reach our goals and we begin to believe that we can make a difference.  This is what happened when women from around Muskoka gathered at the YWCA in Bracebridge to finalize plans for our spring show at The Chapel Gallery in Bracebridge, ON, last Friday, January 18th.

When I was young I thought that once I was an adult, I'd have everything figured out. Once I "grew up", I then felt that something was wrong with me when I questioned myself, my decisions or felt "less than".  Now I realize that our life is a journey of growing, learning and constantly figuring things out.  I now also know that I'm not alone in these feelings.  This painting "Labyrinth" portrays the feeling of not knowing which decision is right or wrong.  The times when our thoughts swirl, and every decision seems right and every decision seems wrong.  What I've learned is that when we are faced with decisions these are opportunities for growth.  

We hear a lot about loving ourselves.  But to be honest I'm still figuring out exactly what that means, and how to do that.  It's easy for me to love you, my readers, to see your beauty. But when it comes to me, I'm still working on ironing out the wrinkles of my own self love journey.  I figured I'm probably not the only one, so I've looked for a little help from Motivational Speaker and Success Coach, Lisa Cybaniak, to share her insights with you.


Read Lisa's blog post  where she gives us 4 Actionable steps to change our thoughts, our life, and learn self love....

The Meaning of Life - What is the meaning of life?  by Lisa Cybaniak
​This is the age old question. Perhaps everyone’s meaning is different. Perhaps we all have our own meaning to seek. Or perhaps, just maybe, at the root of everyone’s quest is really how to love themselves.
On the surface, learning how to love yourself seems simple. You just do it, don’t you? Tell me then, when things go wrong in your day, what is your first response? Is it to blame yourself, tell yourself you knew you couldn’t do it anyway, throw in the towel and pretend like it didn’t matter anyway?
Or maybe it is to ask ‘why me?’ and feel like despite your best efforts, nothing ever turns out the way you planned? Or worse yet, maybe you sabotage yourself in little ways without even realizing it – not completing a task, not putting in full effort, not showing up, not studying for that test/exam – just so that when you fail, it’s not a surprise, because wouldn’t it be so much worse to complete that task with your full effort and attention, putting forth your best foot, only to not succeed?
After all, success is everything, right? Wait a second though…. What is success? Does that mean things have to go perfectly the first time, or can you still be successful if you faced struggles head on, made mistakes and learned from them, to go on to find success and happiness?
I’m asking a whole lot of questions here, but they are not pointless. Success is directly linked to our value of ourselves. If you related to any of the above, then maybe you don’t value yourself as much as you initially thought. Maybe there is room for you to learn how to change your thoughts, love yourself, and then go after the life you deserve, mistakes and all.

As we build walls around ourselves or allow others to impose prison walls for us, we have to deal with a myriad of difficult emotions.  As a coping mechanism and to keep the peace, many of us have decided it easier and safer to swallow our feelings.  Pain, hurt, rage all kept inside in order to maintain a calm exterior.  I call this "swallowing the storm".  Thus was born the idea for my painting "Bridle".    The interesting thing that I've learned is that when we don't honour our feelings and give them a healthy outlet, they just "come out sideways".  They can present themselves as anxiety, illness, addiction, or any other unhealthy coping mechanism.  While I continued to make myself swallow the storm, holding in my emotions and allowing others to hurl their emotions at me without repercussions, I began to lose myself.

"Great courage in the face of danger",  is how valor is defined by the Oxford Dictionary.  I believe that valor is needed to navigate this life.  We each have our own battles for which we need courage, strength, and determination.  
How amazing to relish those moments where we can enjoy the strength we've gained from weathering a storm.  Each obstacle adds a little more strength to our character and gives us knowledge for future challenges.  
I believe that this strength also carries a component of embracing our value.  Without learning to love ourselves, we will not be able to make the healthy choices in our lives that we need to.  We will doubt our decisions.  We will follow the crowd.  However, when we learn our value, there is an inner strength that stands firm against attack, that believes in our inner voice.  When we give that inner voice as much weight as we give other's opinions, we grow stronger.  Each time we succeed, we believe in ourselves a little more.  And that is how we take fear and self-doubt and build it into valor.
How though can we build our self worth?  From my experience, we need to surround ourselves with support systems.  As a child learning to walk needs helping hands until they can stand alone, so we need positive supporters until we can learn to trust our own voice.  Friends, therapists, social circles, family, support groups, reading, music, these all have a place.  They won't be the same for all of us.  Only you can decide what form your support will take, who has proven worthy of the task in the past, and who is strong enough to be there for you now and on into the future.  Listen to your voice in choosing your support system, change it as circumstances change, or when one of them lets you down.  But whatever you do, believe in possibility.  Believe that each and every one of us here on this crazy planet has value.  Join me here every week, as I explore ways to increase our self esteem, through dialogue, self love, and artistic expression.   

In between the daily grind, the filtered social media moments, the good times and the bad times; once in a while we are hit with something that stops us in our tracks.  Whether from deep loss, physical or mental illness, grief, abuse, or some other trauma, we've all encountered deep pain in our lives.  This March, I have the honour of displaying a group of paintings at The Chapel Gallery in Bracebridge, ON, in a show entitled "Passages".  This body of work explores the journey through the emotions created by this pain.  There is a  path we must take  to get through it, and find ourselves again on the other side of grief.

The journey is not linear.  With the paintings in my show, I compare each emotion we go through to a passage.  It may be that one is stuck in a passage for years, only to circle back to a previous emotional passage.  One may be living in several passages at once.  All of these emotions are normal.  There is no time limit for being in a passage.  We each take a similar path, yet we each travel it differently, and that is okay.  With each emotional stage or passage, there is potential for learning and finding our way through, to a healthier place.  

To heal from pain, personal work is needed, yet with the aid from others, we can navigate the emotions we face, to healing and freedom.  
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I invite you to join me for the opening reception, March 3, 2018, from 1 to 4, at the Chapel Gallery.   The show runs from March 3 -24, Tues. to Sat. 10-1 and 2-5.  If you can't make it in person, I will be posting here shortly with pictures of the event.  

Being an artist can be a lonely affair.  Minutes turn into hours, haunting music inspires the gesture of a paintbrush, the scent of mineral spirits hangs in the air.  A day passes.  And another. 

When we emerge, we criticize our work, we walk away, we come back, we scrutinize it, we change it, and we change it again.  And in the end it has become a creation in and of it’s own. 

We tend to be loners sometimes.  Even so, we derive inspiration from those around us, the world we live in, and the natural terrain. These are some artists that inspire me, let me tell you why.

1. In portrait artist Gwenn Seemel’s art, you can see her love of people.  She captures the soul of a person, with bold and bright brushstrokes, which allows the personality of her subject to shine through.  www.gwennseemel.com
2. I am truly in awe of Mandy Budan’s style.  She uses bright colours to integrate an abstract technique with a realistic vision.  One day I hope to have one of her pieces in my collection!  www.budanart.com
3. Anita Nowinska uses vivid colour in an amazingly subtle way to capture nature’s vibrancy.   I was immediately awed when I first saw her work.  Her pieces evoke an emotional response, due to their beauty, but also because one can sense her tactile process using pastels. www.nowinska.com
4. A.J. Alper uses an alla prima style (wet-into-wet), which creates a loose, current style while capturing a moment in time.  I’m quite fascinated with his current portrait work in which he is able to grasp the raw emotion in his subject. www.ajalper.com​
5. When I first started following portrait artists, Mark Demsteader was the first to catch my attention.  Not just another portrait, he captures the beauty of his subject with true emotion.  His style of painting is edgy while maintaining a sense of grace. www.markdemsteader.com

 
I follow these artists on Instagram, it’s an inspiration to see their works in progress, their finished art, and a little piece of their day, as I go through mine.

Albert Einstein once said "education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school".  

After my weekend enjoying the great weather and amazing people at the Cranberry Festival, I couldn't agree more.  I love people, and there were thousands that visited Johnston's Cranberry Marsh two weekends ago.  These same people saw my art.  That was intimidating, but I'm happy to say I survived the jump.  Showing my art to the public is like revealing a piece of my soul.  How relieved I was to receive so many positive comments, and  I sold more items than expected - wow.  

So to any of you who are contemplating taking a leap of faith.  I say, go for it!  Say Geronimo!  It's the anticipation that creates the most fear.  Life is an education, let's live it to the full.  I would love to hear from any out there that have taken the leap...how did it go? ...what did you learn?...  Send me your comments, I would love to hear from you....

OK, so I've painted murals before.  Kids bedrooms, restaurants, seniors' centers and small businesses.  But this is different.  I'm bringing my art to the public.  When I painted murals it was the client who chose the image.  Before the paint even touched the wall, they could change the layout.  This time I'm choosing, and it's sort of like jumping from a cliff.  I know I'll land safe, I'm prepared.  But I have  butterflies in my stomach anyways.

​I'm taking my latest pieces to the Bala Cranberry Festival, October 14, 15, 16, 2016. Come say hi, and let's cross our fingers for great weather!