As I move through my life, I'm learning new things all the time. One that stands out is that feelings aren't static, meaning they change constantly, and that is okay. In the painting above I was experiencing peace, freedom, confidence and I had learned to love myself to a degree.
How could I suddenly be struck again with anxiety, fear, doubt and self-loathing?! This painting which I call "Thorn" is in honour of those times where we take a few steps back in confusion. Life is a journey.
When I'm having one of these days - or weeks - I remind myself that I've recovered before. I put into use the tools and insights I have learned through reading, therapy and meditating. I remember that "this too shall pass". It's not always this simple, but I refuse to give up on my journey of learning, self discovery and growth. The trajectory is upward, even if there are detours along the way.
I wrote beneath this painting, "yet an ember under tarnish glows". A small part inside me never allowed me to give up. The ember pushed me forward. For my dignity, for my children, for our future.
Emotions, it seems to me, come to us in waves. However, each time the negative ones come, they seem to have less power. The ember became a flickering flame, and then a fire.
The most amazing thing to me in creating these paintings of my healing journey, is that I wasn't alone. When I allowed myself to be publicly vulnerable, others felt safe to share their vulnerabilities. When we feel safe to share, dialogue begins, and we open safe spaces to discuss difficult topics. That allows healing to begin.
I am so happy to have shared my healing journey with you. There were 13 paintings in all that belong in this series, so check back in my blog posts, for parts 1 - 4 of "A Healing Journey... A path to self Love". (read Part 1 here)
There is so much more to my story. I have so much more to learn. Join me as I paint human emotion, portraying stories of others and my own.
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