a healing journey...a path to love yourself - part 4

"Perspective" - Oil on Canvas

Sometimes we see our world from only one perspective.  As we age, we learn to see things from other points of view.  When we begin to see a situation in a different way, it is often difficult to continue on the same path.  We often are compelled to change ourselves.  We no longer allow others to treat us badly, we remove ourselves from toxic relationships, we also learn greater empathy for others, but also for ourselves.  This painting is about this awakening and I named it "Perspective".  With my newfound perspective and my determination not to allow myself to drown...

... I now had the strength to choose a new path for my life.  Difficult and painful as the changes were, I felt that I needed to choose a life of peace, and emotional safety.  I now had room to breathe, to grow, to begin to believe in myself and who I was.  This painting celebrates this freedom and is titled "Liberty's Shore".

"Liberty's Shore" - 40"x20" Oil on Canvas

Click to view "Thorn" in shop

As I move through my life, I'm learning new things all the time.  One that stands out is that feelings aren't static, meaning they change constantly, and that is okay.    In the painting above I was experiencing peace, freedom, confidence and I had learned to love myself to a degree.  

How could I suddenly be struck again with anxiety, fear, doubt and self-loathing?!  This painting which I call "Thorn" is in honour of those times where we take a few steps back in confusion.  Life is a journey.  

When I'm having one of these days - or weeks - I remind myself that I've recovered before.  I put into use the tools and insights I have learned through reading, therapy and meditating.  I remember that "this too shall pass".  It's not always this simple, but I refuse to give up on my journey of learning, self discovery and growth.  The trajectory is upward, even if there are detours along the way.

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"Promised Land" - 24"x30" Oil on Canvas

I wrote beneath this painting, "yet an ember under tarnish glows".  A small part inside me never allowed me to give up.  The ember pushed me forward.  For my dignity, for my children, for our future.

Emotions, it seems to me, come to us in waves.  However, each time the negative ones come, they seem to have less power.  The ember became a flickering flame, and then a fire.  

The most amazing thing to me in creating these paintings of my healing journey, is that I wasn't alone.  When I allowed myself to be publicly vulnerable, others felt safe to share their vulnerabilities.  When we feel safe to share, dialogue begins, and we open safe spaces to discuss difficult topics.  That allows healing to begin.  

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At The Chapel Gallery with my painting "Lotus" - read more in an upcoming blog post!

I am so happy to have shared my healing journey with you.  There were 13 paintings in all that belong in this series, so check back in my blog posts, for parts 1 - 4 of "A Healing Journey... A path to self Love".  (read Part 1 here)

There is so much more to my story.  I have so much more to learn.  Join me as I paint human emotion, portraying stories of others and my own.  

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